If you have lost someone you love, you know that there are no guidelines or instructions on how to get through your grief. You also know that people who try to support you will offer well known platitudes in an attempt to comfort you, but many of these comments do nothing more than confuse and hurt you.

It has been a decade since I lost my husband and son within two years of each other. Immediately after my losses, when some of these comments were made to me, I didn’t understand why I felt more upset than comforted by the statements. A decade later, I now have some insight into why, at least for the griever, these comments can cause additional pain. And why those wanting to support a loved one should use them with caution.

#1 Grief will make you stronger

I have never bought into the “what doesn’t…